Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
