This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
