She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
