Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
