I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
