Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
