where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
