Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
