I'm really into asian looking animals
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
