Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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