nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Randomize
