So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
