I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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