I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
