I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
