You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
