dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We had sex on a dog bed..
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
