you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
