I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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