I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
