Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
