So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i want to fuck
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it's pretty self explanatory
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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