Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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