She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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