I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
