talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
