And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
