he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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