You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
