okay pat passed out under dana's car
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
