you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
