sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
