just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
