It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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