You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
