how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
