two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
