four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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