I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
