Its about making memories worth repressing
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
