Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
