at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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