i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
