I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
