Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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