I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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