i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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