Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
