So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
