Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
we're so committed to being not committed
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
