Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
