Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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